Tom Fulton, a solid friend
I met Tom in 1985. He was the liaison to the LGBTQ community from the office of newly elected Los Angeles City Councilmember Mike Woo and I was the training coordinator for the Gay and Lesbian Police Advisory Task Force of Los Angeles, a community action group that had been formed to deal with ongoing issues with the LAPD. The group had mostly been reactionary, and had not yet clearly articulated a vision to move from a defensive position to a proactive body that could actively change the department’s culture and policies in a way that would end what was a hostile relationship between our community and the LAPD.
I found an ally in Tom because he also understood that the only way to move our community forward was to work towards departmental change. Like me, he was visionary in terms of what was needed to change the culture of the department.
In addition to our regular trainings at the “Jack Webb Los Angeles Police Academy” we arranged to do a “roll call” training at the Rampart division. At the beginning of each shift, there is a brief meeting, approximately 20 minutes where the commanding sergeant reviews issues that have emerged in the area that officers need to be aware of. We got ten minutes, three times that day to do a very brief presentation. They were a very difficult audience to “work.” For most of them, we were the first “faggots” they had interacted with outside of arresting and booking. In one of the meetings, one officer sat in the back of the room, glaring at us while stroking his shotgun. Tom was a a trouper, never flinched or wavered in his delivery.
A close and lasting friendship developed. The relationship he was in had ended and that was very difficult for him. Like other single people, he worked his way through all the dating insanity of being young and trying to find a genuinely loving relationship, complete with the frustrations of “near misses” and other disappointments.
Around the beginning of 2000, the last asset of his earlier relationship was finally dissolved and distributed and he bought a condo in West Hollywood. He renovated it, I actually installed the over the range microwave he purchased, and he settled into what he thought would be a long life of living single. The Democratic National Convention had come to town and in a very chance encounter, he met Robert at one of the West Hollywood bars. They hit it off instantly. Both shared passions for history, culture, politics, public policy, and had similar aesthetic tastes. I met Robert later, he had an extra ticket to the convention, so I got to sit in one of the nosebleed seats, literally on the upper back wall in the room, and it was magic.
I knew almost instantly that Robert was the great love of his life, the other half of a life that would blossom and grow into a beautiful life together. Their life together always inspired me and gave me hope that in spite of struggles, AIDS, and other challenges, love could come in the most unexpected times of our lives.
Tom and Robert built a beautiful life together. Like all of life, things will change and evolve, and we will all carry the gifts that Tom gave us, hopefully inspired by his legacy to continue the work to bring about a more just and loving world.
What follows are some of the many photos I've collected of them over the years. I hope you enjoy them.
Tom & Robert 2026
Robert & Tom 2026
Tom was that rare friend who was loyal to a fault. He always showed up to help me move, always supported my life and work, and always passionately championed the cause of LGBTQ Rights in this very broken world we live in.
We will all miss him. And his spirit will continue to hover around us who knew him, because he will continue to remain in our hearts as long as we live.
Yours in Christ, Edward George Garren, MA, LMFT
